After listening to Jon Stewart last night, we've decided to declare war on Christmas! I think the conversation went like this:
Me: Hey let's declare war on Christmas!
Janet: Hee, How?
Me: I don't know maybe with chemicals?
Janet: Like what?
Me: Let me get back to you on that.
For too long Christmas has beat up on lesser holidays like Columbus day and Boxing day. So Chistmas, your time is up, you must vacate Iraq and put down your WMDs(weapons of monetary destruction). After that we shall fight you on the beaches, on the landing grounds, in the fields, and on the streets. We shall *never* surrender to you Christmas.
For in the words of Samuel L. Jackson:
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.